found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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