What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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