Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
