in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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