I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
