So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
