I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
