She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
