I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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