you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
