is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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