so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The air was thick with penises
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
