Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
