I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
