end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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