Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
