But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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