Quick, to the slutcave!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
