Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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