you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
