You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
