apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize