Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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