I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
