You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
