Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize