your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize