its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
