i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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