I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
