Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw a hot homeless man
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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