i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
did i just pee glitter
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