She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
