why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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