i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
