You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
