david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
