i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
