no you cant smoke seaweed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
