i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
