Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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