This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
