Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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