I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
