Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
