Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Little spoons don't ask big questions
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
