Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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