I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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