Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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