I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
