dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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