had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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