evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
