Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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