i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
