i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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