margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
