i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
