so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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