OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
