ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
