no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm always down for nudity.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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